Theatre in Review: Modern Terrorism, or They Who Want to Kill Us and How We Learn to Love Them

The main characters of Jon Kern's new play at the Second Stage Theatre are Rahmin, Qala, and Yalda, all young Muslims; eager for revenge against America, they are planning a disaster of massive proportions. When the lights come up, Qala is placing a bomb in Rahmin's BVDs. The idea is that Rahmin will go the Empire State Building, ride the elevator to the observation deck, and detonate the explosive, killing himself and hundreds of tourists.

Did I mention that Modern Terrorism is a comedy?

Well it is, and, judging by the waves of laughter spreading through the Second Stage auditorium at the performance I attended, a pretty good one, too. It succeeds partly because, despite Qala's assertion that he "studied for months with the best bomb makers in Yemen," he and the others constitute the Middle East edition of the gang that couldn't shoot straight. The business of planting a device in Rahmin's underpants isn't going at all well, especially since he has failed to shave the area around his groin, leading to several painful complications involving body hair and metal clips. Also, the "research film" he is studying for his act of potential mass murder is Sleepless in Seattle, the Meg Ryan chick flick that climaxes at the Empire State Building.

There are other indications that success may not be in the offing: When Rahmin and Yalda, the female of the trio, review their assumed identities, it quickly becomes clear that, instead of fashioning a new background for himself, Rahmin has lifted most of the details from his real life. "It's easier to remember when your story is true," he says, defending his choices. In any case, their conversation about cover stories degenerates into a pointed disagreement about the original Star Wars film -- Rahmin insists, to Yalda's dismay, that the correct title is A New Hope -- as well as its many sequels. Enraged at Rahmin's defense of The Phantom Menace, Yalda snaps, "Jar Jar Binks rapes my memories!"

Things do not improve when the trio moves on to Plan B, which involves driving a truck, loaded with fertilizer and propane, into the NASDAQ studio in Times Square. By now, they have added to their ranks Jerome, the stoner from the apartment downstairs, who graduates from hostage to functioning as a kind of semi-accomplice. Jerome, hardly the brightest of minds, tends to notice that, when planning their acts of destruction, their vision outstrips their organizational skills. Or, as he puts it, "You guys are addicted to the Michael Bay moment."

The really remarkable thing about Modern Terrorism is how Kern and company manage to play New Yorkers' worst nightmare for laughs without ever losing sight of the fact that these would-be killers are deadly serious. Qala burns with true revolutionary fervor, convinced that a well-placed bomb can bring America to its knees. Yalda, mourning the husband she lost in a botched US drone attack in Pakistan, is bent on avenging his death. If Rahmin is the group's official sad sack, Kern makes sure that he, too, is no mere caricature. For one thing, he's falling in love with Yalda, a fact that causes no end of trouble as the trio's plans unravel.

Furthermore, each of the characters is tripped up by messy reality at one point or another. Both Yalda and Rahmin experience feelings that conflict with their murderous intentions. Attempts at adhering to Islamic law prove most unproductive; Yalda is dispatched to the bathroom every time Rahmin takes off his pants, and there is an extended squabble about looking too Islamic in public. (Yalda's hijab is finally, reluctantly removed.) Most important, Kern makes it clear that terrorism is a dead end, accomplishing nothing, except perhaps to destroy those who perpetrate it. Even Jerome, who hopes to parlay his captivity into some kind of celebrity status, dismisses his captors at times as the "disgruntled postal employees of the international community," adding that, for all the best efforts of their enemies, "Ireland, Spain, and Israel are still standing." Such words amount to prophecy as Modern Terrorism races toward its ironic climax.

Obviously, this project is a minefield -- one false step and the audience will be lost -- and it must be noted that Modern Terrorism starts slow and isn't consistently funny. Overall, however, Kern keeps the play's elements of horror and hilarity finely balanced, allowing us to feel for his characters even as we reject their insane plans. Under Peter DuBois' finely judged direction, the cast walks this tonal tightrope with real agility. Utkarsh Ambudkar is remarkably sympathetic as Rahmin, whether expressing his outrage at Yalda's assumptions about his underwear size ("I'm not a small -- even without a bomb in my pants!") or staring in quiet horror at a pillowcase smeared with blood. Steven Boyer's Jerome is a most convincing case of Stockholm syndrome, his aimless existence transformed by the opportunity to play at being a killer.William Jackson Harper captures the terrible uncertainty under Qala's fiercely held dignity as well as his shifty explanations for staying above the fray, sending others to commit suicide for the cause ... ("If only I wasn't so valuable alive," he laments, adding, "For me, duty demands the sin of living.") More than anyone, Nitya Vidyasagar grounds the comedy in real feeling, radiating a justifiable fury over her husband's slaughter. She pulls off the evening's blackest bit of humor, when, interrupted by Rahmin during an attempt at shooting Jerome -- Rahmin is worried about the mess -- she daintily covers the couch in paper towels before taking aim.

The production also benefits from a first-rate design, including Alexander Dodge's shabby President Street apartment, with its grimy walls and bare-bones furnishings; Russell H. Champa's lighting, especially his brilliant sunlight effects; Mimi O'Donnell's detailed, character-revealing costumes; and M. L. Dogg's sound design, especially a stunning eleventh-hour effect that will not be described here.

Some people may find Modern Terrorism to be in the worst of taste, and I'm sure we will hear many complaints that such activities are no laughing matter. I disagree; at its most fundamental level, terrorism represents a profound failure of the imagination and the best way to discredit such monsters is to expose the poverty of their thinking. For this reason, Jon Kern has every right to declare: Mission Accomplished.--David Barbour