Theatre in Review: Psycho Therapy (Cherry Lane Theatre)Actors have to eat; I bring up this blindingly obvious point to explain why Angelica Page, Jeffrey Carlson, Jan Leslie Harding, and Laurence Lau -- talented people all -- are starring in Psycho Therapy. There is no other possible reason. Just in case you thought all the humorous possibilities of the analyst's couch had been thoroughly exhausted -- Woody Allen doesn't even go there anymore -- the playwright, Frank Strausser, is determined to prove you wrong. That's why he builds his play around Nancy, an LA-based therapist who caters to a clientele of singletons, coaching them as they chase after possible Mr. Rights. (You can tell that Psycho Therapy is in trouble when Harding, who plays Nancy, is forced to kill the first several minutes of the play listening to the phone messages of her beleaguered patients, most of whom could be booked for stalking.) Nancy's new patient, Lily, shows up for couples counseling alone, leading to several minutes of awkward dialogue, designed to establish that Lily is --to put it politely -- an emotional mess. Finally, her boyfriend, Philip, shows up, leading to yelling, running around the office couch, and some passionate clinches. Here's the rub: Philip isn't Philip at all; he's Dorian, Lily's too-hot-to-handle ex. She's tired of the constant cycle of passion and abandonment that Dorian adores, and she just wants to marry Philip, who, when we meet him, is a pretty average Joe, the kind of guy who would do just about anything to make Lily happy - that is, if Lily wanted to be happy. A Nichols and May sketch from which the laughs have been surgically removed, Psycho Therapy is a tedious round of spats and makeups, most of them refereed by Nancy, who occasionally takes a break to indulge in her secret passion (chocolate) or to ride herd on her 15-year-old daughter's sex life. We're supposed to see the hilarious implications of couples therapy for three people -- especially with Lily switching boyfriends every five minutes -- but Strausser hasn't the faintest idea what to do with this premise. There are one or two laughs -- when Lily boasts that she has had many successful relationships, Nancy gently points out that "a successful relationship is one that lasts" -- but the absence of any wit or point of view about the contrary ways of lovers makes this one dead on arrival. Of the four, Harding fares best, making the most of her few funny lines. Page and Carlson draw on every bit of technique at their fingertips, but Lily and Dorian aren't really characters; they're just mouthpieces for desperately unfunny jokes. All they have to show for their efforts is a pair of wildly mannered performances. Lau is asked to play a scene in which he shows up for couples therapy and doesn't immediately attempt to identify the male stranger in the room; the greatest actor in the world couldn't make something of that. No director is credited in the program -- never a good sign, I find - but clearly somebody directed the cast to run around the stage, slamming doors and generally behaving as if they were in a Feydeau farce. At least Psycho Therapy has a look, thanks to Michael V. Moore's sleek doctor's office setting, with an upstage wall that parts to reveal a bird's eye view of LA at night. (There's also a nifty little Japanese restaurant that pops out of the stage right wall.) Jeff Croiter's lighting and Amanda Bujak's costumes are the work of true pros. Amy Altadonna's sound design mixes rock guitars with jazz waltzes and parodies of Bernard Herrmann's Psycho score. But, really, who thought this was a good idea? When Psycho Therapy was over, I was ready for the couch, albeit for a good snooze.--David Barbour 
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